Greetings Survivors!!
Welcome to this week's installment of Pro-Tip Thursday. This week's topic is a rather serious one. It's about how we treat each other in Game and out of Game.
Our game consists of two different worlds. The real world of the mundane 9-5 where we live our real lives and the exciting weekend when we get to play our game in the post-apocalyptic zombie infested world we enjoy so much. This is represented in the two different titles we all share: Players and Characters.
It is important to remember that characters we are playing are different from the player who is in the game. One concept that we deal with is called Character Bleed. That is the effect of having in game actions bleed into our day to day life and relationships. You hear us advise all the time to reach out to the player you had an intense scene with and make sure you are both OK afterwards. The warning about that kind of bleed is always discussed and we even suggest that you touch base at afters to check in with each other.
But what we forget is that it’s not always Big Things that cause us to be unhappy with each other. It's often the small things that make us feel forgotten, looked over and not cared for.
It is super easy to forget that players feel the small slights their character receives. Be they real or just perceived. It is easy for a player to think that they are ignored for personal reasons. We feel the rejection of our characters' ideas and concerns. Because we put so much effort and feelings into the creation of our characters. This is the type of bleed that causes many to to quietly suffer in frustration.
Then there is the other side of the coin. The bleed from being the character in the game. There are times when in the game a player is miserable from all the expectations that are laid on the character. The perceived guilt if they are not there to do X thing. To be constantly told the problems in town and be expected to solve them. To feel they have to grind constantly to keep up with all the favors that are being asked for them. They get stressed out, worn out and then burned out. To the point they no longer care about what happens to other players because they no longer want to be involved.
All of these issues have come up in our feedback at one time or another. As we receive this type of feedback it is often with the phrase “ I don't know what you can do about it But… “ or “ I know it's a player thing but… “ These statements are correct. They are things that are hard for us to fix or correct. It's not like a broken rule that can be brainstormed or fixing the mifi for the post office. It's about dealing with people on a personal level.
We have one tool to work on this issue. That tool is communication. We talk about it in hopes that our communication starts other conversations between people.
The first step of this process is to remember that we are all Human. We all have feelings and fears that we deal with. When we are playing our game remember that the Player behind the character is Human. If there is something happening, take a moment to talk to them. You may think that you are having a great argument with a character in game but you might be causing a player to feel slighted or left out. You may be sitting in a group making plans and blowing past an idea someone is trying to say. We all have felt that before. It makes you feel left out and not valued. Also, remember that they may not understand what they are doing. So remember to approach each other with the idea of not doing harm and be ready to believe that it may not be intentional as it happens.
The second step of this process is to LISTEN. Communication goes both ways. It requires us to listen to what is being said to us. It’s hard in games to make sure you are listening to everything that is being said. It's even harder to listen to HOW things are being said. This is what causes us to miss the fact we are causing pain to each other. When we are actively listening, we can catch those moments when we need to check in on each other.
The last step is to Talk about it. Too many times, people will suffer quietly instead of speaking up. Speaking up is very hard sometimes. There are many reasons why someone may not feel they have the right to speak up. That is where we can help a little. We have feedback methods on our website. We also offer to moderate issues between players.
On our website, there is a link under the community tab labeled “ Play to Lift”. It talks about us being a community of friends playing a game. When you click on the link on that page that takes you to an excellent blog. Here is an excerpt from that :
“Play to Lift'' means that the responsibility for your drama and your character also rests on all your co-players. You have to _lift_ each other. You don’t, off game, have to worry about delivering the best speech ever just because everyone knows that your character is the best orator in the country. The reason that you don’t need to worry is because the other players will lift your character up, and applaud loudly – they will give you a win. An alternative name to Play to Lift might actually be: “Play to Let Others Win”.
This is the key to us all having a great time together. Help each other win. Now the “win” may be a horrible character death full of angst and misery. If that is your character's win, I promise to be there for you when you come out of the morgue! (well if it's not too late.. Let's be real… ;-)
So, you might notice that I am posting this pretty late on a Thursday night because this was a hard topic to figure out how to say it best. Hopefully, what I have said resonates with everyone. But we are in this together. So let us all try to lift each other up!
Till next time Fam!
See you in the waste!!!