Greetings Survivors! With us returning to our LIVE game schedule I thought we might have another conversation about how we deal with each other.
One of the challenges we have in our community is the need to separate the difference between ourselves and the characters we play. We have spoken in the past about the need to have Adult conversations between each other to find the path to compromise and past hurt feelings.
What I would like to discuss today is De-escalation. In the moment, it is super easy to ramp up the emotions to a point where we are causing damage to our relationships that are hard to repair and rebuild. We have all been there. We respond out of anger and emotion instead of trying to have an adult conversation about the issue. So in order to help us all, I thought a list of De-escalation techniques might help arm us all with the skills to de-escalate a situation. The best thing about these techniques is that you can use them every day in your real life and relationships. De-escalation techniques and resources
To begin, it’s important to understand that no single response or technique will work in every situation. When responding to escalating behavior, consider the individual, the circumstances, and the overall context of the situation.
De-escalation is one technique that can be used when confronted with aggressive behavior. De-escalation means “transferring your sense of calm and genuine interest in what the other party wants to tell you by using respectful, clear, limit setting boundaries.
The following tips — published by the Crisis Prevention Institute and the Western Journal of Emergency Medicine — may provide a useful starting point for the de-escalation process. (2-3)
1. Move to a private area.
If it seems safe to do so, it may be helpful to move the other person away from public spaces and into a private area to talk.
2. Be empathetic and non-judgmental.
“Focus on understanding the person’s feelings. Whether or not you think those feelings are justified, they’re real to the other person.”
3. Respect personal space.
“If possible, stand 1.5 to three feet away from the person . . . Allowing personal space tends to decrease a person’s anxiety and can help prevent acting-out behavior. Do not block exits.”
4. Keep your tone and body language neutral.
“The more a person loses control, the less they hear your words — and the more they react to your nonverbal communication. Relax your body and keep your hands in front of you, palms facing outward.”
5. Avoid overreacting.
“Remain calm, rational, and professional. While you cannot control the person’s behavior, how you respond to their behavior can affect whether the situation escalates or defuses. Empathize with feelings, not behavior.”
Possible response: “I understand you are ___________, but it’s not okay to yell at me.
6. Focus on the thoughts behind the feelings.
“Some people have trouble identifying how they feel about what’s happening to them.”
Possible response: “Help me understand what you need.”
Possible response: “What has helped you in the past?”
Possible response: “Tell me if I have this right.”
Not: “Tell me how you feel.”
7. Ignore challenging questions.
“Answering challenging questions often results in a power struggle. If a person challenges you, redirect their attention to the issue at hand. Ignore the challenge, not the person.”
8. Set boundaries.
“If the person’s behavior is belligerent, defensive, or disruptive, give them clear, simple, and enforceable limits. Offer concise and respectful choices and consequences.”
Possible response: “It's important for you to be calm in order for us to be able to talk. How can that be accomplished?”
9. Choose boundaries wisely.
“Carefully consider which rules are negotiable and which rules are not. If you can offer a person options and flexibility, you may be able to avoid unnecessary altercations.”
10. Allow silence.
By letting silence occur, you are giving the person a chance to reflect on what’s happening and how to proceed.
11. Allow time for decisions.
“When a person is upset, they may not be able to think clearly. Give them a few moments to think through what you’ve said.”
Sample response: “I’ve just shared a lot of information with you. I’ll come back in about 10 minutes after you’ve had time to think about it.”
These Techniques can help us all be better to each other. Taking the time to “ Take The Time” to step back and let a clear head deal with a situation can lead to a lot less pain being caused to each other. This also allows us to have a clearer head to have those adult conversations that lead to us having a healthier community.
So Survivors, I am looking forward to being back in camp with all of you!
Don't forget we will require everyone to have a clean Covid test 48 hours before coming on site. We will post a code word to write on the exam when you send it in!
Till next time, SEE YOU IN THE WASTE!!!