Greetings Survivors! Welcome to the evening edition of Pro-Tip Thursday!
Today's topic is important to me and therefore harder for me to write about. Which is why this is being posted in the evening instead of first thing in the morning. I did not want to rush this topic nor be too flippant while writing it. So this is a heartfelt article that I would like to share with you all.
Over the run of my Pro-Tip Thursdays we have spoken a lot about our community and how we are in this together. We have talked about communication and making sure we have adult conversations between ourselves as players and characters to make sure that we are engaging each other from a good place and trying to play to lift each other up. So today I want to add another important block of being healthy both in game and out of game. That building block is learning how to set boundaries that protect yourself both physically and mentally.
Boundaries help to establish the ‘line’ between what is OK and not OK to do, say, or expect from someone. Without boundaries, relationships can become unhealthy and imbalanced. People who have a hard time setting boundaries with their friends often feel taken advantage of and like their friendships aren’t reciprocal.
I could write a bunch of tips on this topic but I am not an expert. I found a great article that I would rather direct everyone to:
(If this article is not to your taste please feel free to search out the topic.)
But boundaries are important for us in the game. Setting boundaries in game on how much we will take on as player, what our characters want to do in game. How other players and characters interact with us is very important to us having a healthy community so I propose the following 5 simple tips :
1. Talk to the other players as soon as possible, don't let things fester.
2. Express the value of your friendship, and remember that setting boundaries isn't about hurting the other person, but rather about protecting yourself.
3. Be clear, concise, and firm in your boundary setting. There should be no wiggle room for misunderstandings.
4. Get help. If the first conversation doesn't go well, please reach out to staff for help with mediation. This is a service we offer because we want to help our community grow and foster good relationships with each other.
5. Be willing to compromise. You have to be willing to meet the other person halfway during tense situations, so everyone feels as though they've been heard and have a say in how to resolve the issue.
But this goes both ways. I have been learning that we as the employees have to set proper boundaries as well.
It's hard for us. We care about all of the players and want everyone to have a good time. We work hard to provide great stories and epic adventures. We work to make sure we have a safe community where everyone is valued and heard. That being said, we do all have day jobs and our lives are full of the same struggles that everyone has to deal with during the month.
Beth, Ro, and I have been in leadership roles from near the beginning as marshals and storytellers. However, we three as a team are new to some of the more complex issues of ownership and ask for your patience as we navigate the challenges that come along with that. We all started as players, and all still have a passion for playing with our friends and engaging in the stories that are being collectively told. We are seeking balance in our roles as owners against our roles as members of the community.
To that end, we've realized that we need to set a few boundaries so that by the time we all get to game, we're energized and ready to go and can provide the best possible experience for everyone on both sides of the coin. We have discussed this over the course of the last few weeks, and we feel that the following steps will be the best path for us to implement.
In the next couple of days, we will be adding a new page to our website with our contact information, Job Duties and our office hours. Each of our employees will have their own office hours that they do their particular task. Not only will this help us, but it will also help you guys know exactly who to talk to about issues and what their availability is between games.
Official issues will now come to us from the website as well. If there is an issue that requires us to be involved officially, it will have to be presented in our feedback channel. We have the ability to have anonymous feedback turned into us if you do not feel comfortable being known as the person who said something. Now as a friend an employee or owner can still listen to venting if they choose, but we will ask if this is venting, or do you need us to wear our Employee hat? If it’s venting, please remember to ask your friend if they have the energy to hear your venting. If it's the employee hat, we will ask you to put it into the feedback section, so it is official. We cannot solve problems that aren’t officially reported. If official action is wanted and we need to get involved this is the vehicle to use.
We ask for patience. We ask that you remember that we are human and have full time jobs and have the same day to day responsibilities that most people have. So, give us time to solve the issues.
And finally, we ask for Forgiveness. We are trying hard, but we are not perfect. If we have failed in something, we will learn from it and get better. Hopefully we will not repeat the same mistakes.
As a note, we want to remind you that when we choose as friends to listen to vent sessions, we are putting ourselves in the position where we can't solve the problem without breaching trust put in us by our friends, while we are left desperately wanting to resolve whatever the issue may be. To put it simply, it ties our hands on what actions we can take. The boundaries we are setting here will help both us and you find the balance between our two roles.
All said and done, you can see why this is an important topic for us all. We are in this together as we build this community.
